I miss my Mommy... : ,(

Stagnant. Aimless. Adrift. All the words that come to mind when I think about my life. All the feelings that leave me exhausted after a day of doing sweet fuck all. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? What is it that I'm missing to make me happy? Why can't I seem to find it? And why is it that all I want right now is for my Mom to give me a big hug, and tell me that everything is gonna be alright? I'm not really responsible to anyone or anything. I don't have any real connections, beyond friendships, that press on me. Am I in the wrong place? Am I at the wrong time? What's wrong with me?

I'm sitting here in a room full of things I've aquired through hard work and, admittedly, some not so hard work. And yet, I feel almost completely devoid of fulfillment. I'm lonely. An ironic statement to make, considering I just got home not an hour ago from watching movies with a friend, but true. I'm lonely. Everyone has someone. And I don't think that I have no one. I don't think it, I just feel like it. I know better. I have a family that loves me, and friends too. But somehow, in the middle of it all, I feel alone. This room is empty of of anyone's presence but mine, while the rest of this house is empty of my presence. And that galls me. I'm a bit player in my own life. They say there are no small parts, just small actors. I guess in the story of my life, I'm a small actor.

:(