Sunday, April 09, 2006

Well, that had fiasco written all over it...

Today was both good and bad. But in this space, right now, I'm going to write about the bad:

I talked to my little sister about us perhaps living together at some point in the future. I laid out the idea, then asked for her honest opinion. Her honest opinion was, in no uncertain terms, no. Now, maybe it's because I've just spent the last 2 years being rejected from jobs, relationships, or houses, or maybe it's that I was just, very nicely, kicked out of the place I've called home for the past year and a half, but this hurt. Alot more then I'd expected, given that I was just throwing the idea out there as a hypothetical. And I didn't deal very well.
Well, I take that back. I dealt fairly well, but the situation did not improve, until we both felt the need to just call the whole conversation off, in sort of a hurry. What bothers me all the more is that I'm pretty sure my other sister was sitting right there next to her, agreeing with every word she typed. Or at least, I think that was what was going on, given the long pauses which I think were for consultation. I thought they'd at least be amenable to the idea of the 3 of us living together, but apparently the 2 of them can be best friends, and I get to be the odd one out. Again.
Welcome to the Brian's pity party, table of one.
Why is it that in any grouping of 3 people, I can always seem to find a way to be excluded? It happens in conversations, it happens when working alongside 2 other people, it happens to me everywhere I go. And yet, I can't seem to grasp this rule of three, so I continue to try vainly to join these triumvirates, in the hopes that one day, some way, it'll work out. Well, it seems the only triumvirate I've ever had any right to be a part of has turned its back on me. Maybe I should just give up on the whole idea, and become a hermit. No contact with the outside world without 3 layers of alias, and only via the internet. Internet grocery shopping, internet gaming, and a job that lets me work from home, on my computer.
Dreaming in technicolor, huh?

G'night for now.

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