Welcome Back! (The ending is closed captioned for the humor impaired!)

Y'all have been gone a really long time! What happened, did I insult you, make you feel bad about yourself? What's that you say? It's me that's been gone so long? Poppycock! That can't be true, I've been right here the whole time!

Ok, ok, so I haven't posted in nearly two weeks. And that obviously makes me a terrible person. But you know what? I think I'll get over it. >_^ <----(Supposed to be a winky){Face, that is} I wish I could say I've been SO busy that I didn't have time to post. Oh wait, I can say that! Of course, I'd be lying, but I could SAY that. To make a long story short, I was still feeling whiny about the whole jobs thing, and didn't want to harp on and on about it here (people I loved who read this were getting overly worried), so I took a break. And then my internet went away for the weekend. And then I got lazy.

But I'm back, baby! And writier than ever! I even make up words now! That's right, I'm the writiest wordscrafter that shall ever existify this plane of beingosity! Wow, that's a lot more fun than I expected!

I digress. I now know more about entrance mats than any single male, non-business owner type guy should ever know, and have most of that information stored on my STILL cavernous hard drive (Thanks Adam!) If I never learn another thing about mats again... But let me start this story from the beginning. The guys at work(CanadaMat) decided that since I'd done such a good job putting together a little brochure for them to mail out to all our customers, which I did in approximately 6 hours, they wanted me to put together a full color, 4 page booklet for the sales rep to take up north with him next week. To which I responded, "Not a chance in hell, partner! Not for a mere 10$ an hour!" Or at least that's what I wish I'd said, since instead of that, I told them I'd be happy to put it together for them if they would just give me all the information they wanted on it. I didn't, and probably still don't, know enough about the business that I knew what we needed to feature, what needed to be on the thing, or any of that, and didn't want to have to cobble it together from hearsay like I'd done the mailout.
So, of course, none of those things happened. Between the two of them, they mentioned 5 products total, which, even with a kickass cover page, does not fill a 4 page booklet. AND I couldn't do work on it at the office, because the office computer is an ancient relic of a time long ago when people did their math by banging rocks on other rocks. (No, I don't know what that means.) So, I did all the work on it from the comfort of my own home, eventually getting paid for it. Then I sent it to my boss for approval. And of course, suddenly, he's filled with specific ideas that I have not executed. Plus, now it HAS to be ready for the next morning. Well, let me tell you, after spending the better part of the day sitting in front of the computer with no contact with the outside world, I was ready to snap. So snap I did. Politely.
I proceeded to inform Robert (my boss) that I was neither a marketing department, nor a graphic designer, neither of which would be doing the amount of work I was for the little I was being paid. I told him that I had specifically asked for exactitudes (sorry, couldn't help it, it is really fun), and been given very little, and then told to "run with it", which I had stated originally, in no uncertain terms, that I was not prepared to do. He agreed with me, and we came up with a course of action: I was going to stay up all night making the changes he wanted, but I was not going into the office this morning, and he was going to pay me exactly as if I had come in. (It sounded like a much better deal at the time). And so, today, I only went in to the office for 3 hours, got paid for 7, and got a call from the printing agency, where I'd sent my final proof, and asked if I would mind changing the size of my pages, as well as proof reading it, since it was a little rough around the edges from me finishing it up at around 4AM.

Now, aren't you glad I made that first story short? That took forever, and this little guy's all tuckered out now, so I'm gonna go catch a few zzz's. Oh, and you know what else is back?

G'night! <---(The "g'night" is the other thing that's back, for our Brian'shumor impaired viewers)